How to Reply to "Hey" on a Dating App (12 Examples)
Short answer: when someone opens with just "hey", reply with one short, friendly message that adds a topic they can respond to: a playful remark about the opener, a question from their profile, or a simple either-or question. Do not answer "hey" with "hey".
Why people send "hey"
A one-word opener is low effort, but it is not proof of low interest. Inboxes on dating apps are busy: in Pew Research Center's survey, 54% of women who had used dating sites or apps said they had felt overwhelmed by the number of messages they received.1 Plenty of people send the same quick opener to every match and only invest once someone answers. Your reply is what decides whether this becomes a conversation.
The rule: add a topic
"Hey" hands you the job of starting the conversation. Take it. A good reply is short, warm and ends with something that takes five seconds to answer.
Playful replies
Hey! Strong opener. I'll raise you a question: what's the best thing that happened to you this week?
Hey yourself. Be honest, how many people got that exact message today?
Hi! I'll take the pressure off: I'm starting. Sweet or savory breakfast?
Replies built on their profile
Hey! I have to ask about the photo with the giant paella. Did you make that?
Hi! Your profile says you just moved here. What's the verdict on the city so far?
Hey! Fellow runner, I see. Morning or evening?
Easy either-or questions
Hey! Quick one so I know who I'm dealing with: mountains or beach?
Hi! Important question: are you a "plan the whole trip" or a "book the flight and see" person?
Hey! Dogs, cats, or "I can barely keep a plant alive"?
Direct and warm
Hey! Glad we matched. Your profile made me laugh, especially the bit about karaoke. What's your go-to song?
Hi! How's your day going? Mine improved about ten seconds ago.
Hey! I'm better at conversations than openers, so: what are you up to this weekend?
What to do after they answer
Stay on their answer for a moment before you move to a new topic. In Hinge's 2025 survey of about 30,000 of its daters, 85% said they were more likely to want a second date when they were asked thoughtful questions, and follow-up questions were the kind of thoughtful question they named most often (61%).2 Research from Harvard points the same way: people who ask follow-up questions are better liked by their conversation partners.3
Them: Mountains, definitely.
You: Good answer. Hiking mountains or "cabin with a view and a book" mountains? I'm the second, with occasional guilt.
When to stop trying
If you add a topic twice and still get one-word answers with no questions back, the other person is not investing in the conversation. That is information, not a challenge. Send nothing more and put your energy into matches who reply with something.
Replies to avoid
- "Hey" back. Now nobody has started.
- Sarcasm about their effort. "Wow, great opener" starts the conversation with a criticism.
- A wall of text. Matching their energy, plus a little more, works better than three paragraphs.
- "What's up?" / "Not much, you?" This loop ends most conversations within four messages.
Sources
- Pew Research Center, "Key findings about online dating in the U.S." (February 2, 2023; survey of 6,034 U.S. adults, July 2022). pewresearch.org
- Hinge, "Hinge's New D.A.T.E. Report: How Gen Z Daters Can Close The Communication Gap in 2026" (November 19, 2025). hinge.co
- Huang, Yeomans, Brooks, Minson and Gino, "It doesn't hurt to ask: Question-asking increases liking", Journal of Personality and Social Psychology (2017). pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov
Frequently asked questions
What does it mean when someone just says "hey" on a dating app?
Usually very little. Many people send the same short opener to every match because it is quick and low-risk, so "hey" tells you they matched with you, not how interested they are. Their second message tells you much more.
Should I reply to "hey" at all?
If you liked the profile, yes. It costs one message to find out whether there is a conversation there. If you add a topic and they still answer with one word, you can stop without having lost anything.
Is it okay to reply to "hey" with "hey"?
It keeps the conversation at zero. You now both have to come up with a topic, and neither of you has started. Add something they can respond to: a playful remark, a question from their profile or an either-or question.